Santa: What do you want for Christmas?Arsenal fan: I want a dragon.Santa: Come on. Why dont they drink tea at White Hart Lane?Because all the cups are in Manchester. and a mosquito? ", The boy interrupts again: "I'm not a Rangers fan either. , to which God replied, In ten years. The disappointed admirer sulks away, exclaiming, Thats a shame; Ill probably be dead by then.The Arsenal fan and his walking cane push the first fan to the side as he sulks. Ive only had him for like 20 months.. Q: What do I have in common with Tottenham? 40 FC Barcelona Jokes You Cannot Share With A Cule, 80 Football World Cup 2022 Jokes To Cheer Soccer Fans, 50 Funny Arsenal Jokes You Shouldnt Tell A Gunner. ", This satisfies the woman, who immediately gets back into the car and drives for home. Then he hands the bottle to the Arsenal fan. Browse and manage your votes from your Member Profile Page, Your email address will not be published. Arsenals 100% win record start to the EPL season 2022-23 was finally ended after six games, and fans are speculating about a similar pattern in previous seasons post-Wenger era. A: Last years winner of the hide and seek contest. He rushes over, introduces himself and takes out his pad and pencil to start his story for the next edition. What is the difference between Arsenals players going to Chelsea and Chelseas players going to Arsenal?One goes to retire while the other goes to win trophies. Not really knowing what an Arsenal supporter was, but wanting to be like their teacher, hands explode into the air. He once saw Tyrone Mings at a petrol station in Bournemouth but felt far too short to ask for a photo. "I've good news and bad news for you this morning, sir." Q: What's the difference between Frequent Flyer Miles and Tottenham Hotspur? What two Tottenham players make a Liverpool goalie?Alli-Son Becker. How do you know Antonio Conte must have hurt his leg whilst at Tottenham Hotspur?He is always relying on Son and Kane. Q: What do you say to a Gunners supporter with a good looking bird on his arm? For example: Dallas is known for cowboys, San Francisco was the place for the miners, 49ers, to bring their gold and claims, Islignton was famous as being home of the Artillery Regiment, thus "Arsenal," Milwauke HAD brewing. There's nothing worth craping on! He replied, "Arsenal to win the premiership. A: He turns off the PlayStation. 49 Votes "I gave them some back and the few people I did do it to was probably well-greeted, sportsmanship-like. Jokes About Arsenal What do you call an Arsenal fan in a 3 bedroom semi? Whats a pirates favorite football club?Arrrrrrrsenal. ", This fan then posted: "Whoever did this deserves a raise. Q: What is the shortest book in the world called? Q: Did you hear that Arsenal doesn't have a website? A: Because Tottenham supporters have started to make them up themselves. Whilst the away end was bouncing, one Arsenal fan was hiding in plain sight behind enemy lines, and went viral for showing off his Arsenal kit in the home end, without the steward noticing, as you can see in the video below. Whether it's a Windows, Mac, iOS or Android operating system, you will still be able to bookmark this site. Jessica Amlee Why have Spurs announced that they are relaying the pitch at White Hart Lane with sheets of A4?Apparently, they can beat anyone on paper. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and hit that Arsenal bastard again, harder. About every ten years a small team wins the EPL.86 Forest95 Blackburn04 Arsenal16 Leicester. to remove Granit Xhaka from the situation. The man pauses for a moment before exclaiming, God! When is Tottenham going to win a trophy? "Then," says Mary, "I'd be a Gunners supporter." ", The reporter asks: "Who do you support, then? and they also made jokes . Snow White left God's chamber smiling also, "It's ok," she said, "I am the fairest of them all". Just look at our cars, there's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. Be it the home match against Leicester City in the season 2015/16 or the away match in Europa League R16 at Zagreb in season 2020/21, Spurs find a way to cheer their rival fans.In the current season, Tottenhams last-minute failure against Sporting Lisbon extended Antonio Contes dreadful champions league record. The former Sky Sports presenter has long had a bee in his bonnet about the Arsenal manager being outside of his technical area for long periods of matches. Arsenal Jokes Back to: Sports Jokes Follow @quickjokes Q: What do you call 100 Arsenal supporters at the bottom of a cliff? . Q: What do you call a dead Gunner Fan in a closet? Click on the basket icon in the top right and if you don't have anything in there, the site will tell you that your basket is "as empty as Tottenham's trophy cabinet". What does THFC stand for?Tottenham Heading For the Championship. Enjoy the team's latest comic relief and have a laugh at their expense, from FIFA to Scunthorpe! Hate Jokes Arsenal You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake, and an Arsenal Fan. Q: What is the difference between Tottenham Hotspur and a cup of tea? Ramsdale had been a key figure in the victory . by A: Shoot the Arsenal Fan. Thank you for signing up to Four Four Two. 'My daddy is a dancer at a gay bar. Whats so special about Spurs from all other EPL clubs?They are a social experiment set up to see how far they can mentally and physically push a human being. Arsenal are no strangers when it comes to mocking local rivals Tottenham. "Why do I need help?" A: They both spend a lot of time in the cellar, cost too much and are only enjoyed on select occasions. Again she speaks to the car radio"Country Music". Find your nearest supporters club. Did you hear what Englands 1st gay professional footballer said?Its his dream to play for Arsenal.. Three Men Pope said to the 5th passenger, an 8-year-old girl, Im an old man. Reckless Driver I hope you have enjoyed reading all of these Arsenal jokes as much as I have :DPlease feel free to read more about Arsenal FC from the links below Would you prefer to share this page with others by linking to it? A: So Arsenal supporters can get laid too. Shoot the Arsenal Fan. What do Arsenal FC & Oscar Pistorius both have in common?Getting used to losing both legs. The fan had got down to the front of the stand, stood on the hoardings and aimed a kick at Ramsdale, before being pushed away by a steward and disappearing back up the stands. Required fields are marked *. It is one of football's immutable laws, to be ranked alongside Germans winning penalty shootouts at the very top of the list. Arsenal have won 13 titles to Tottenham's two - the last of which was lifted in 1961. This service is provided on News Group Newspapers' Limited's Standard Terms and Conditions in accordance with our Privacy & Cookie Policy. ?He kept throwing out the W's.Best Arsenal JokesWhat do you call a fly inside an Arsenal fans head ? "Arsenal Story JokesTwo Gunners fans are on the plane on the way to Holland. But in amid the delight and schadenfreude enveloping the red half of north London, there is a lesson, too, for Arsenal fans about the sport's cyclical nature. Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. What is Tottenhams new trophy room name?The Room. A: So Tottenham supporters can get laid too. What do you call a dead Tottenham Fan in a closet?Last years winner of the hide and seek contest. Twice. England and Wales company registration number 2008885. The jibe is common between the two sets of fans. It's career day in primary school where each student talks about what their dad does. Q: What's the difference between Tottenham supporters and mosquitoes? Q: Why did God make Tottenham Hotspur supporters smelly? A gummy bear. He takes off his clothes for other men, and if they pay him enough money, he goes into the alley and performs sexual acts on them.' A: Last years winner of the hide and seek contest. Similar to Bananaman getting called up as an Avenger. Arsenal goalkeeper, Aaron Ramsdale, has explained why a Tottenham Hotspur fan attacked him following his side's Premier League North London derby 2-0 win over Spurs on Sunday. One week later the three were all killed in a car crash. A big cheer goes up as the screen shows West Ham 1 (Maradona 10 minutes) Tottenham 0 He is beating Spurs all by himself!Anyway, a few more beers later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers, It must be full time now, lets see how he got on! They put the TV on. A: Because all the cups are in Manchester. I'll give you a lift!" Little Johnny is last, and finally the teacher calls on him to talk about his dad. Understandably, Arsenal fans were quick to comment on the club's jibe as they revelled in the joke. And he got very depressed. A: Because all the cups are in Manchester. Sunday was a rather bizarre event. A: I cry when I cut up onions Arsenal's highlight of an otherwise intermittently miserable season arrived on the final round of fixtures as they somehow secured their best Premier League finish in 11 years, just weeks after discontent aimed at manager Arsene Wenger and owner Stan Kroenke spilled over into planned protest in a home game against Norwich City. Spurs supporters were left annoyed over the message, as they insisted that it was an unnecessary cheap shot. "Then," says Mary, "I'd be a Tottenham Hotspur supporter." Arsenal might be top of the Premier League by five points, and clear of local rivals Tottenham Hotspur by 11 points, but one fan still thinks the Spurs players are better. ", Another said: "The fact Arsenal have to put that on their website shows how threatened they are of us nowadays. What do Arsenal and Tottenham fans have in common? A: A good start! ", The boy interrupts: "But I'm not a Spurs fan. A: Dress her in an Arsenal jersey! Speaking after the match, the keeper said, "The Spurs fans were giving me some [stick] throughout the second half. Q: What do you say to a Gunners supporter with a good looking bird on his arm? 'My daddy is a dancer at a gay bar. A: The bucket. To inquire about a licence to reproduce material, visit our Syndication site. Do that, and Arsenal fans won't even have to rely on Tottenham's annual failings to put a smile on their faces. What are the three people you can never advise? To receive credit as the author, enter your information below. Great! 'Look at this, dear. FourFourTwo is part of Future plc, an international media group and leading digital publisher. "He couldn't go to certain places for dinner or walk freely in London because of the anger of the Tottenham fans. Coach Ivan plays on passion but walkoff is a step too far, Transfer Talk: Bayern still keen on Kane despite new Choupo-Moting deal, Reiten's, Maanum's parallel paths in Norway intersect in League Cup final. Arsenal fans love a dig at Tottenham so they'll be thrilled to know even the online store is getting in on the act. But always above Spurs. Your email address will not be published. It is tempting to reach for metaphysical explanations after an inexplicable chain of events like this. "Arsenal Story JokesA woman buys a car in London. There were three football fans one each from the clubs Arsenal, Manchester City and Liverpool they were walking in the desert and found a dead camel. A: Even a fat chick scores every once in a while! Lukas Podolski walks into a sperm donor bank in London How does Arsenal do in Europe?They 10-2 get knocked out. A Primary school teacher explains to her class that she is an Arsenal supporter. "The other man was flabbergasted and said "how in the name of god do you know that? Visit our corporate site (opens in new tab). 58 Votes Twice. Just type!Your story will appear on a Web page exactly the way you enter it here. Or why not treat yourself? "Well, My Dad and Mom are Liverpool supporters, and I'm a Liverpool fan, too!" They called the police and then, for decency, decided to cover her up. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and, as it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Recall that . It said it was to weak. ', Megan Fox was thinking: 'That Arsenal fan must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Spurs fan and got slapped for it.'. The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. All of the sudden Tom Thumb says, "You know, how do I know I'm the world's smallest man? 679215 Registered office: 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF. So the guy from Manchester says, well since I'm from ManCHESTer, i'll get the chest. She sits down with Johnny and asks him if this is really true about his dad. Away from the Premier League action, Cristiano Ronaldo was filmed angrily reacting to a young fan's Lionel Messi joke after an Al-Nassr game. FC Arsenal Funny Jokes Im looking for a rubbish tip.The other man said, Arsenal to win the Premier League., A woman was reading a newspaper one morning when she mentioned a piece of news to her husband.Take a look at this, dear. Their club had been formed in 1886 in Woolwich and we had first played them in 1887, leading 2-1 when the game was abandoned by the referee because of poor light. Under an interim coach, which new players can break through for Brazil? A: A cheat. Heres how it works. "No way Richard," says his mate "of course we'll still be pals!! There was plenty for Arsenal fans to cheer about on Sunday, as they increased their lead at the top of the Premier League table to eight points, with a win over local rivals Tottenham Hotspur. Q: What do you call 100 Arsenal supporters at the bottom of a cliff? now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); A: They're both empty from the neck up. "Thats what happened and its a shame as its just a game of football at the end of the day. "Why I'm proud to be a Liverpool supporter. We are nothing without our fans and this section is dedicated to our loyal supporters across the globe. Required fields are marked *. FREE BETS:GET OVER 2,000 IN NEW CUSTOMER DEALS, One user tweeted: "Arsenal have lost their manners. Why is tea so expensive at White Hart Lane?Because they dont have that many cups. Read ourTransfer News Live blogfor the very latest rumours, gossip and done deals, Moment Aston Villa's Leon Bailey inhales 'laughing gas' after all night party, Mason Greenwood's England future revealed after rejecting country switch, Nicky Butt quit Man Utd as he couldnt stand players beating him to team, Man Utd considering THREE options for Mason Greenwood if he stays at club, News Group Newspapers Limited in England No. Q: You're trapped in a room with a Lion, Cobra snake and an Arsenal Fan. He thought he would do a good deed, so he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?" Washington should change their name to "Senators," and Cleveland could become the "Steamers.". Q: What is the shortest book in the world called? "Why I'm proud to be a Liverpool supporter. What do Arsenal and Tottenham fans have in common?Theyre both obsessed with Tottenham. Maybe Tottenham's inferiority complex is so pronounced that even as Tottenham manager Mauricio Pochettino tried to warn that no good would come of the obsession with finishing above Arsenal, it's because a self-destructive, self-fulfilling prophecy that resulted in Spurs taking only two points from their past four games of the season. Q: What do you call an Arsenal fan in a suit? Never too bad. Any suggestion that supporters celebrating second place were incorrect to do so betrays a lack of understanding of the specific context, and from a broader perspective, the very essence of what makes football what it is. September 14, 2022, 6:44 pm The teacher is now angry. Maybe there is someone uglier than me!" He would swerve his van as if to hit them, then swerve back just missing them. A. A: Intelligent Tottenham supporters. ", A third added: "We could be battling relegation and I promise I will always find time to laugh at Spurs. Q: How do you keep a Gunners fan from masterbating?
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